The New Heroine

Written By Itoro E. Udofia

If you listen, you can hear the subtle whisper that beckons a woman to keep trying, push forward and take steps necessary to conquer the world. It appears that this “pull yourself up from your boot straps” mentality is attributed as a character trait of the many heroine’s celebrated throughout history.

Or is it?

Among the familiar empowerment theme in society there can be a softer song that comes to the forefront, one in which a woman in need is still considered a heroine. A woman asking for help, recognizing her limits or even choosing to give up is socially accepted and even celebrated. The pressure to make it overridden by the beauty of yielding, of surrendering to something greater. Women can redefine what it means to be the heroine in their own story.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” -John 15:5

Mother You Celebrate

Written by Itoro E. Udofia

Mother you celebrate

A heart beating for another

Breaths taken away by wonder

Vision made new by the call of destiny

Mother you celebrate

Strength exposed through vulnerability

Moments captured unexpectedly

Wisdom poured out in abundance

Mother you celebrate

Blooming in hard places with ease

Thriving with others in community

Forging new paths unknown

Mother you celebrate

Bringing life and building home

Wearing the crown gracefully

Holding lessons for generations

Mother you celebrate

An Environment for Self-Discovery

Written by Itoro E. Udofia

As a woman you will be or have been the incubator for your children.

An incubator yields a protected environment for vulnerable objects. Over time life experiences, and the opinion of others begin to shape who you are, what you believe, and what you stand for. In certain environments some things thrive while other things diminish.

As a woman you have been or will be the incubator for your children. The culmination of who you are, will shape the hearts and minds of individuals that can dramatically impact the world around them. Finding the space to explore, confront, reinvent or celebrate your authentic self is a noteworthy opportunity. What does that space look like for you? In what environment can self- discovery thrive?

"I praise you, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know      that full well."  -Psalm 139:14

Conversations At The Dinner Table

Written By Itoro E. Udofia

What are you passing down to your children?

Just as recipes are passed down to family members throughout generations so are unique family attributes. Every family has its own culture and language etiquette. Certain terms have become common and are expressed more often.  

"Do as I say, not as I do."

This is a familiar phrase that parents communicate to their children when questioned about the integrity of their actions in comparison to their spoken expectations. It can also be a band aid to mask the guilt and shame of not measuring up to the standard outlined for another to follow.

Maybe different statements were expressed in your home. Some sayings that still carry significance for you today. Which ones would you want to pass on to your children? The reality is that without being proactive about how you want things to be different they may very well stay the same.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."                                                                                                                                     - Proverbs 22:6

Create Space to Reflect

Written by Itoro E. Udofia

“Sometimes the right question leads you on a journey to face your true self, the person that others rarely see.”

— Itoro E. Udofia

Do you ever take a pause? Reflect about who you are right now in this moment and how you got here. Self-acceptance comes when you are brave enough to dig deep. Sometimes the right question leads you on a journey to face your true self, the person that others rarely see.

The answers that arise can inspire you to take a step towards a different you far off in the distance. These are the moments your future self will be grateful for. These are the insights your children can be proud of.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty."                                                                                                                                                         - 2 Corinthians 3:17

It Takes A Village To Raise A Child: 3 Ways To Identify Your Tribe

Written By  Itoro E. Udofia

Any new mom will confirm that the transition to motherhood is exhilarating, emotional, and exhausting. It is critical for the well-being of new mothers that they are surrounded by individuals who provide practical and emotional support.

The familiar African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child”, speaks to the benefits of parenting within the context of community.

Women can identify their tribe amongst family and friends by being intentional with their relationships. Three characteristics to begin with are:

1.  Similar Values

Clarity about what you value is necessary and choosing individuals with similar values essential.  Who you connect with reinforces who you are.

2.  Authentic Experiences

Time spent and true connection with individuals enhances your capacity to be vulnerable. Who you trust you are more willing to depend on.

3.  Effective Collaboration

Actions by individuals that align with your vision of family is reliable and should be sought after. Who you work well with you can delegate to.  

Support looks different for everyone. Communicating needs and expectations takes courage. While new mothers transition into their role they can be empowered by their tribe of family and friends. If it takes a village to raise a child, women can be wise and intentional with building that village.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor; If either of them falls down one can help the other up." -Ecclesiastes 4:9

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken" -Ecclesiastes 4 :12

Befriend Your Soul

Written by Itoro E. Udofia

Nothing is more exceptional than being in the presence of a woman who knows her unique value.

A woman with such awareness can transform the entire world.

Single Christian Women and their Biological Clock

Written By Itoro E. Udofia

It’s been 40 years. This is the amount of time since the phrase “biological clock” was coined. In an article by Richard Cohen titled, “The Clock is Ticking for the Career Woman” published in the Washington Post on March 16, 1978 the challenges between pursuing a career and starting a family were explored. Since the introduction of the term, conversations about single women settling down well into their thirties has become commonplace.

Fear and anxiety have entered the hearts of women who are waiting for their season of marriage, navigating their career or pursuing goals in higher education. To put it simply this term “biological clock” has discretely shifted how we view maternal health and the journey towards motherhood.

How should single Christian women view their biological clock?

“Despite societal expectations or pressure from loved ones as a Christian woman your disposition regarding motherhood should embrace a kingdom perspective.”

— Itoro E. Udofia

1.  Be a good steward of your time

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”- Ecclesiastes 3:1

Use this time to develop emotionally, psychologically, and relationally. Who you are as a single woman will impact who you are as a wife and mother. This season of waiting is an opportunity to invest in yourself.

2.  Be anchored in your faith

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” -Isaiah 26:3

Remind yourself of God’s faithfulness. The foundations of your faith should consistently be before you so that the character and nature of God keep you grounded. This season of waiting is an opportunity to establish a strong relationship with Christ.

Single women can come to terms with the desire of starting a family while pursuing their purpose by recognizing that their “biological clock” is at the mercy of a God who created all things.

Gathering Knowledge in Preparation for Motherhood

If a woman had permission to never fully arrive would she accept the invitation?

In preparation for motherhood

Growth is constant. Development a journey one must embark on perpetually. This perspective must be held for those even remotely interested in navigating the role of motherhood. Adopting an “I have it all figured out” attitude has left many devoid of the rich experiences the novice once yearned for.

Women across the country consume information in preparation for the role of motherhood. This is WISE.

However, women should take inventory of their motives. Knowledge consumption although subtle can be to fill the void of “not knowing”, to navigate around the corner of “what’s to come”, and to scale the wall of “I’m not enough”. In a society where acquiring knowledge in the pursuit of fulfilling a level of expertise is celebrated; one may wonder if a woman had permission to never fully arrive would she accept the invitation?  

" For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and  understanding" - Proverbs 2:6                                                                                                                                                     

 Written By Itoro E. Udofia

Unique Opportunity Before Motherhood

Before motherhood women have a unique opportunity.

Perhaps the role of a mother begins not when one is with child but with the simple awareness of where the child originates. 

Whether single, married or somewhere between both realities you can choose to design your motherhood identity. Perhaps the role of a mother begins not when one is with child but with the simple awareness of where the child originates.

"Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him."

                                                                                                -Psalm 127:3

Written By:  Itoro E. Udofia, Family Architect